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Written by: Senior Dietitian, Ng Yiu Fun
There are many different types of milk on the market, with different flavors or UHT milk that can be stored at room temperature. There are also many myths about milk consumption. Some people think that “whole milk is unhealthy” or “skim milk has chemicals.” How do we choose the right milk for our children?
The first thing we should be aware of is that boxed milk is refrigerated at -4 degrees Celsius. Why should it be refrigerated? Because boxed milk does not completely kill all the bacteria, after it has been stored for 10 or 8 days, the milk will begin to expire and cannot be consumed. Therefore, you must be careful not to drink fresh milk that has expired; otherwise, you will easily get gastroenteritis.
As for low-fat, whole milk, and skim milk, there are some rumors that whole milk is unhealthy or skim milk has chemical ingredients. In fact, this problem does not exist. First of all, since children are also divided into too light, too heavy, or standard body types, we have to look at our children’s body types to choose different milks, even if skim, whole milk are, in fact, full of nutrition.
For example, whole milk is suitable for children who are too light. They really need fat, so they can drink whole milk. It may be asked if some animal fats are not as good for the blood vessels. For children, their blood vessels are very elastic, and the fat in whole milk is not really that high, so an appropriate amount of whole milk is good for them and will not harm their bodies. If the child is too light, two packs of milk a day are not a problem at all.
For overweight children, we recommend skim milk. If it’s skim milk, we save less fat in other areas, such as not drinking so much soup, not eating so many juicy dishes, or not eating so many snacks. All these can help him not become overweight so easily. If an overweight child wants more calcium and different nutrients, one packet of skim milk a day is enough!
Written by: Family Dynamics, Psychological Counselor, Lai Shun Mei
Every time a child does homework, he or she falsely claims to have a stomachache, to go to the bathroom, or to go to sleep—thousands of lies and excuses. Parents who value character development are naturally outraged because they have zero tolerance for dishonesty in their children. But why do children always avoid doing their homework? Why do they have to lie to cover it up?
Often, children avoid doing homework not because they don’t want to, but because they can’t. Children want to be good and smart, but when they find out they can’t do their homework, they think they are not smart enough. When they find out they can’t do their homework, they think they are not smart enough. They can’t accept this and will lie to cover it up and avoid it. Generally speaking, children with normal intelligence but learning disabilities will have their academic performance affected to some degree, but they can perform well in other areas as well. Regardless of their intelligence level, with the right approach and the right amount of training, they will be able to develop the appropriate skills.
But why do people tell lies? When a person feels that he or she is in an uncomfortable situation, he or she will activate the defense mechanism to protect himself or herself. Lying is one of the ways to escape a crisis. If parents want to help their children, they need to give them the courage to tell the truth so that they can understand what their children really don’t understand.
How do you get your child to be brave enough to tell the truth? You need to let your child know that even if he or she is not smart enough, you will still love him or her so much, take pleasure in him or her, be patient with him or her, and work together to help him or her solve their problems, thus building his or her sense of security and giving him or her the peace of mind to reveal his or her innermost doubts and difficulties. But on the contrary, if his experience makes him think that he is not smart enough, which will lead to his mother’s anger and complaints, he will not dare to tell the truth and even activate his self-protection mechanism to protect himself with lies that adults can uncover at first glance.
Not only will the child be unable to protect himself, but he will also get into more trouble because the mother will be rehabilitated and will admit her fault and promise not to lie again. But in fact, his homework difficulties are not solved, creating a vicious cycle. Therefore, we encourage parents to learn to accept their children’s shortcomings so that they will have confidence in you and feel safe to open up to you.
Written by: Caritas Rehabilitation Services,Clinical Psychologist, Yu Kwok Ting
Some parents may be more impulsive and even have a habit of blaming their children for problems such as disobedience, deliberate anger, or naughtiness. When children fail to do what they want, they become angry with their parents, but this will gradually alienate them from their parents, which will damage the parent-child relationship in the long run.
Parents’ personalities, families of origin, and parenting methods learned in different ways will affect parent-child relationships. And the adults’ thoughts will influence their mood. If adults find themselves in frequent conflicts with children, which affect the parent-child relationship, we can ask ourselves three questions.
If a child is not able to do all the homework required by his or her parents, the first thing the parents think is that the child is just having fun and not doing homework, but the real reason may be that they do not know how to do it and need parental guidance. If parents take preconceived notions as facts, they may ignore the needs and difficulties of their children and damage the parent-child relationship.
Some parents often say that their child is “deliberately annoyed” and then see their child’s behavior as disobedience, but perhaps the reason for the child’s behavior is carelessness, but the parents are influenced by their subjective feelings and misunderstand their child.
If a parent’s goal is to mend the parent-child relationship, but he or she often holds the idea that the child is “deliberately working against him or her,” is this thinking really helpful to his or her goal? Parents can try to find more realistic and justifiable ideas to help them achieve their goals.
撰文：資深營養師吳耀芬
市面上有很多不同種類的奶，有不同味道或能存放室溫的UHT奶。關於飲奶，也有不少迷思。有人認為「全脂奶唔健康」或「脫脂奶有化學成分」，我們要如何為小朋友選擇合適的奶？
首先要留意的是，盒裝奶在零下四度的溫度雪藏。為甚麼要雪藏呢？因為盒裝奶不是完全殺滅所有細菌的，所以可能存放十日、八日後，奶就開始會過期，不可以飲用。所以大家一定要注意是，不可以飲過期的鮮奶，否則很容易會有腸胃炎
至於低脂、全脂和脫脂奶，有一些傳聞指出全脂不健康或者脫脂有化學成分。其實這個問題並不存在的。首先小朋友也有分過輕、過重或標準身型，我們要看自己的小朋友的身型來選擇不同的奶，就算脫脂、全脂奶也好，其實都一樣是充滿營養的。
譬如全脂奶適合過輕的小朋友，他們是真的需要脂肪，所以可以飲全脂奶。可能會問有些動物的脂肪會對於血管沒有那麼好，對小朋友來說他們的血管非常有彈性，而且全脂奶的脂肪並不是真的那麼高，所以適量的全脂奶對他們有益，又不會損害身體。如果是過輕的小朋友，一日兩包奶是完全沒有問題的。
而過重的小朋友，我們會建議他飲脫脂奶。如果是脫脂奶的話，我們節省少部分的脂肪，在其他地方，譬如他不喝那麼多湯水、不要食那麼多有汁的餸菜，或者不要食那麼多零食。這些都能夠幫助他，不會那麼容易超重。如果超重的小朋友，想要較多的鈣質及不同的營養素，一日一包脫脂奶就足夠了。
撰文：家庭動力心理輔導員賴舜薇
小朋友每次做功課，都訛稱自己肚痛、要上洗手間或想睡覺，千萬種謊言與藉口。重視品格培養的家長自然會感到嬲怒，因為他們對子女不誠實的行為都是零容忍的。但為甚麼孩子總是逃避做功課？為甚麼他們又要以謊言去掩飾呢？
小朋友逃避做功課，很多時不是他們不願意做，而是做不到。小朋友都會希望自己又乖巧又聰明，但當他們發現自己做不到功課，便會認為自己不夠聰明。他無法接受，便會以說謊來掩飾和逃避。一般而言，智力正常但有學習障礙的小朋友，他們的學業表現都會受到一定程度的影響，但在其他方面，他們一樣可以表現出色。而且不論他們智力水平高低，只要使用對的方法，加上適量訓練，他們亦能建立相應能力。
但人為甚麼會說謊呢？當一個人覺得自己處於不安的環境時，便會啟動防衛機制保護自己。而說謊便是其中一種以逃避方式來應對危機的表現。如果家長希望幫到子女，便要讓他勇於說真話，這樣家長才能理解子女真正不明白的地方。
如何令子女勇於說真說話？你要讓子女知道，即使他不夠聰明，你依然會這麼愛她，以他為喜樂，對他有耐性，並且會一起想辦法協助他解決困難，從而建立他的安全感，讓他安心透露內心的不明白與困難。但相反，若其經驗令他認為因他不夠聰明，會引來媽媽對他發脾氣及埋怨，他便不敢說真話，甚至啟動自我保護機制，用大人一看便能拆穿的謊言保護自己。
這時候孩子不但無法保護自己，更會惹來更大的麻煩，因為媽媽會更生氣，便會主動認錯，又會承諾不再說謊。惟事實上，他功課的困難並未解決，形成造成惡性循環。因此，我們鼓勵家長學習接納子女的不足，令子女對你有信心，覺得安全，自然對你敞開心扉。
撰文：明愛康復服務臨床心理學家余國婷
有些家長性格可能比較衝動，甚至習慣將問題歸咎於孩子身上，例如孩子不聽話、故意激怒家長或頑皮等。而當孩子做不到自己要求時會對孩子發怒，但這樣會令孩子逐漸疏遠父母，長遠下來會破壞親子關係。
父母的性格、原生家庭及在不途徑學習的育兒方法，都會影響親子的相處模式及親子關係。而大人想法本身都會影響大人的心情，如果大人發現自己與小朋友相處，經常出現衝突，影響了親子關係，我們可以向自己反問3個問題：
假如孩子不能按照父母要求完全功課，父母的第一想法大多是孩子只顧玩樂而不做功課，但真正原因可能是他們不懂得做，需要家長的指導，如果家長把先入為主的想法當作事實，可能就會忽略孩子的需要和困難，破壞親子關係。
有些家長常常說孩子是「故意惹怒他」，然後把孩子的行為看作是孩子不聽話，但可能孩子做出行為的原因只是不小心，但父母就被主觀感覺影響誤會了孩子。
如果家長的目標是希望修補親子關係，但自己經常抱持孩子是「故意和自己作對」的想法，這種想法對自己的目標真的有幫助嗎？家長可以嘗試找一些比較現實、有理據的想法，才能幫助自己達到目標。
Written by: Chinese doctor Yiu Yee Chiu
As a parent, it can be exhausting to take care of a family and work. In my spare time, I like to watch talk shows and listen to the unique views of celebrities on life and their outlook on life. Once they talked about the busy life of Hong Kong people and how fatigue seems to be an inevitable “by-product”. However, we were told that we are not tired because we are all like that and it is just a normal physiological reaction. So, is this true?
Tiredness is actually a subjective feeling, so only you can understand it. In some cases, it can be seen in behavior, such as reluctance to get up, weakness in speech, lack of normal physical strength, etc. According to a Chinese Medicine Practitioner, fatigue involves the five viscera and six internal organs, mainly the spleen, liver and kidneys, with the spleen being the most important, which falls under the category of “deficiency fatigue”.
Three types of fatigue have different causes
Fatigue can be classified from different perspectives. One way is to classify fatigue into three categories: physical, mental, and psychological. Physical fatigue is the most common and the most easily noticed. After normal work, it is normal to feel tired and can recover after rest. However, if you cannot recover after rest, or if the number and degree of fatigue is too much, this is fatigue, which can also be said to be a “sub-health” state.
Brain fatigue is caused by overuse of the brain. The most basic symptoms are memory loss and lack of concentration. Other symptoms include drowsiness, lack of concentration, auricular fever, and lack of hearing. Mental fatigue is a psychological feeling after excluding physical problems, and may be triggered by lack of sleep or inadequate nutritional supply. If more than one of these manifestations occurs at the same time, it is likely to be characterized as what is known as “fatigue syndrome”.
Fatigue is related to the disorders of the five organs
From the perspective of Chinese medicine, the appearance of fatigue is closely related to the imbalance of the five viscera. Different symptoms may be related to a particular internal organ, for example, lack of qi is mostly related to the lung. Chinese medicine believes that the overall activity of the human body depends on the state of vital energy. The Yuan Qi ” Human nature inborn and nourished later”, means that the Yuan Qi from the parents of the essence, after birth, mainly from the diet of water and grain essence of the supplement and nourishment, while relying on the normal function of the spleen and stomach and with the help of the natural qi (i.e. good air), although they are tired, but there are differences in the form.
People can be divided into the following four main body types:
Yang body type: These people have low overall metabolism and will show fear of cold, depression and drowsiness. In addition to taking Chinese medicine, you can also use the “warm umbilical cord method” to strengthen nephron. The method is to use a lit moxa stick to moxibustion on the umbilicus above the Shen Pao point for 15 minutes twice a day, mainly to feel the warmth and tolerable.
Depressed body: most of the manifestations are unstable, easily depressed, lack of perseverance, suspicious and other psychological imbalance. Of course, physical discomfort, such as fullness in the ribs and poor sleep, may also occur. However, it is closely related to the ups and downs of emotions. Talking and sharing with others is the easiest way to guide yourself. At the same time, you can also try “rose yam porridge”. The method is to make a congee of rose, coix seeds and Chinese yam with rice, 1 to 2 bowls a day.
In any case, the feeling of fatigue is very disturbing. In addition to discomfort, people sometimes wonder if it is a lie. So we must face it head on and find the right way to manage it. Otherwise, the sub-healthy state of fatigue may turn into a real disease, and that would be a problem.
